During the last few weeks I have been putting myself out there like many say, to face my giants in order to be released from guilt, fears and emotional chains. I have been in prayer over many things, my finances, my children, my family, my heart and many others things. I’ve learned to come to God with my heart at my sleeve because as unworthy as I may believe to be, His believes I’m worth so much more.
I’ve reached a point of my life where uphill is the only way regardless if I’m prepared or not. It’s He who guides me, it’s He who lights the way removing obstacles and opening doors for me. I’ve had a heavy heart lately, yet He seems to care not much about that, instead He’s delivered me by guiding me towards those things He has prepared for me. God has never failed me. He has never abandoned me nor has He ignored my cry. He’s been good to my heart.
At times, He’s allowed rejection, hurt and even struggle to overwhelm me in order for me to see that my ways are not His nor my timing line up with His purpose. The desires of my heart are rooted deep inside and perhaps this which my heart wants badly will never come to pass, but I can trust that God will fulfill my needs in the time He chooses. It may not be what I want or prayed for; but it will surely be what I need and it will be perfection because it will come from Him.
Finding my peace within hasn’t been the battle, I found peace when I found Christ. My battle has been not understanding that certain things are not in God’s will and accepting that meant that I would have to patiently wait on Him and believing that where He is leading me will be bigger and better then what I could ever imagine. God has led the way before I’ve even acknowledged Him, and has held my hand and wiped my tears. Healed my wounds and broken my fall. Watched me in my struggle yet held my heart. He’s heard me cry myself to sleep yet has kept me from giving up. He’s let me be, when I’ve wanted to go on my own, yet He’s kept his distance but always close enough for when I cried for Him. He’s never abandoned me, He’s never left me in the middle of the desert, He has always kept me. And as I confront my giants, I thank God for easing my heart when its ached the most.
There is no place I’d rather be when I’m at my worst then in the presence of God, because He’s the peace within me.