It’s been a few months since I have been at a crossroad in my life. Frustration has invaded my daily living, fear has crawled into my skin and confusion has somehow entered my mind. Yet; in the midst of all of this turmoil doubt has never accomplished to conquer my heart.
All of this comes from being a breadwinner of my home without being successful at it. I lost my job, one I held for 10 years, my retirement money washed through my hands like water within months. Trying to keep my townhome from foreclosure, lights on and refrigerator stocked up. I won’t deny there were nights I cried myself to sleep, knowing I’ve been here before. My life as a single mother hasn’t been easy, yet I had to keep to together for the sake of my sanity and girls. Because I’ve been here before I should know better, but it doesn’t take away from that overwhelming feeling of worthlessness, I felt.
Then a little over a year I found myself in front of a desktop of the only job I could find. I wasn’t complaining but I was sadden at the thought that I had to settle for minimum wage job, having the credential I had. But, God tends to have a mysterious ways of preparing for better things, while also having a unique way of getting a message through our thick heads.
I looked at my keyboard and a few keys stood out, allowing to me refocus and realize that my transition had a process and there were steps to take, apply to my life, before moving forward.
Home: This is a place where our heart will always remain, yet it’s a place we may no longer stay if we want to move onto the next phase of our lives, and in doing this we must understand that in leaving home, we may be forcing ourselves to leave our comfort zone, the one place where the unknowing has no room to linger in.
End: This is a word many misinterpret and relate with sadness and at times with negativity. Every end has a new beginning and we must choose the right attitude to enter this new place, knowing it may not all be rose colored, but it will surely become a place we enjoy being in.
Insert: During the process of ending something we will lose or may need to walk away from people and things we wish didn’t have to release, however, unknowingly as we do this we are placing opportunity in our lives and begin to realize that there are certain things and people need not be there, because the direction of our journey does not include them.
Page Up: It’s as simple as we want to see it. We must choose to want this beginning, because regardless of what, life goes on with or without us. And when looking towards the future we should focus on looking up because the grass is not always as green as it seems from far away. Besides looking down is only a good thing if you’re going to smell some flowers.
Page Down: Now this is a button I’ve pressed many times, and I refuse to press again. We need to realize every day that passes is a day left behind and no matter what we said, did or thought, it’s in the past. Some things may come back to bite us in the rear, but it doesn’t change the fact that it was a place of our life that no longer is.
Delete: Now, this one is hard for me in so many levels, because like it or not there are certain things as a matter of fact many things in my life, I have NO control over. I cannot change the way people think, the way people feel or chose to live. But I do have control over how I deal with it and how it effects me. Some things are better left unsaid and untouched and perhaps the best way to deal with these situations could be to just remove them so they no longer have power over our day, our mood and even our tomorrow.
Arrows: Now these last four buttons can take you to any and every single place we’ve mentioned, but it is eventually up to us which button we press and sincerely I am at a stage of my life that I only want to focus on tomorrow, on becoming the best me I can become, and in learning to love who I’ve become. I have no time nor desire to play the waiting game with anyone and it may sound selfish, but sometimes selfish is what we need to become in order to get back on track to where we are meant to be.
The fact that I now have this job, it doesn’t mean my financial situation is over, not at all. But because I know I have an Almighty God who has favor over my life and will lead me nowhere He won’t be present, I know I will overcome. So which button are you going to press?
1 Peter 5:6
So humble yourself under the mighty power of God
and in the right time He will lift you up in honor.